Top 3 Wishlist

Remind me to buy big horse lottery 

抹不掉的感觉

给：ｂａｏ


追求完美，往往不了解完美是什么，追求的只可能是自己心中的安宁。

脆弱自卑的心理，往往使人变得更渺小与敏感。

被看不起然后厚着脸皮哀求，到底是坚强，还是相反的，懦弱？

努力的活下去，也勇敢愚蠢的深信

那一天的到来。


感激你让我的感受，我承认那改变了我。
我永远都忘不了和你独处的感觉。

稳仔

2012 target

Room with 70ft balcony , personal toilet , covered car porch , hifi system , canggih computer , air cond , doublebed , wooden wardrobe , custom wall decoration , sofa , smooth internet connection , guitar gears , some greeny plants , income x 2 with the current , more time for online buy and sell , more time to see more things around , more flexible time , more time with mum too .

november to be done

   - Change strings
   - full setup
   - repair cables
   - tweak GT8
   - bucket seat
   - intake
   - silencer
   - sound system
   - send mini to workshop
   - clean room
   - buy pivot cap
   - 360 flips
   - hair cut
   - steering for sheng
   - sell absober
   - touge
   - 3000k hid fog light
   - UR bars
   - date jee :)

那女孩

女孩的完美，就是她的唯一缺陷

猜不透的心思，更显了她的气质

感谢我的感官健全，可以感受她的存在

也感谢命运的安排，让我认识了她

使我活下去

我想

追求完美



那是我的缺陷

小鹿，你也喜欢她吧？刚刚很会跑嘛。。。谢谢你了，往后的日子。。。还需要你多多帮忙

SEEK

I believe in balance , for this while i have been keeping my anger , stress and emo feeling . I try not to trust myself anymore but i just cant , i sit in air cond everyday . i wanna sweat , i wanna roll i need that fucking destructive skateboarding lifestyle back , i need to gain back the black blue on my knee and fall down doing tricks over the 8 stairs , i wanna have my car back , fully step on the gas throttle and listen to the crying of an unbalanced engine with the sound of air passing the carb . i need to scream MAC*BAI fucking loud , i wanna sing with my broken lung until i hurt my vocal box and also , i need to have my twin 30 watts laney amp crank up and hit palm mute hard on my guitar . i need to do them seriously , i had enuf of so called " normal " lifestyle . i need to do them all at once , to balance back everything , and then . continue my breathing and enjoy the pulse on my vein . fuck , i seriously have to destroy something .

22 march 2011

I don not have great past , and also present . I will have good future . 

It was like 2-3 months back , when i travel with my sis and my bro back to alor star from kl . We were in my sister's kenari , and it was like night . When im expose to moonlight , i talk a lot .

My sis studying psychology , she like to ask very random question . Use me as her white mouse , try to read my mind ( she might testing me if my mental got prob or not ) . And she told me " the secrets " story , which i choose to believe it , fully . 

Most of them always worry about me , my car , my life , my health , everything they also worrry . Worry that my car will kill me on the road . worry that im living in a terible place , worry that im so skinny ( cant tahan my mum bought me the vitamin stuff , wanna vomit ) worry that why i don have gf yet and stuff . Appreciate that .

I am doing alright and fine . I am on the path , searching and wander around . 

I like to watch , listen , touch , taste , feel . I like to use my given ability . And , i use them to enjoy every little things around me . For example ,the every view of my sight , they are beautiful , the touch of my bed cloth when i lay on it , the 3rd cup of lipton tea which taste like 6% tea and 94 % plain water ( hey it still tea ) , the sound , tempo and tone that runs into my ears and also the smell of greeny plants around , i did put 3 cactus and a random plant in my room , they are just beautiful . Stress and negative mood of mine , i got my own way to release them .

Im enjoying my life , there is no need to worry about me . 

享受

压力?

不幸？

逆境？

穷苦？

饥饿？

疲惫？

还有吗？

这几天面临的，就是这些。

是龙年犯太岁吗？总有些我控制不了吧？

让我脉搏跳动的，是一颗野心

适当的发泄，和不寻常的习惯，是我必要的心理调解。

追求的路上，我真的，很享受和接受这个过程。没得争论，因为很不公平的公平，就是事实。

空想， 幻想， 梦想， 理想

等下2 点要签契约了， 为期一年 。准备加入老鼠赛跑 ， 就在笼里爬不出那种 。 我，要做只猛的。因为我没选择

未来，我们只掌握了一半 。
命运，占了另一半

至少现在对我来说 ，先得把最低层搞到。吃饭睡觉喝水呼吸

花了家里不少钱，做了很多的不应该，是时候想回报了

每次和家人道别，都是复杂的心情，回忆里的点点滴，少不了愧疚。我可以给大家更好的生活的。

过去的任性，往往带来人家的不信任。不过，那些都过了。

等我两年，我要拼命找钱

last 2 days

  my mum and sis , they came and bring me go buy these , totally different from what i wear everyday , total 6 shirts and 3 skinny pants , they say this buying is a kind of investment on me . spend like Rm2300 total ( ok i just blow water ) but many people like to lie on this kind of stuff... don know why

  i don really hate this but i never do this before , should i put this on tomorrow ?

  do back my stuff , clean , lemon oiled my guitar while waiting for the oil to dry i upload this post , will string this killer guitar with daddario 10's .

 edwin want the dick shape cactus , for the sake of 12 years frenship , dude , this 1 sell u Rm750

  im using this laptop since 3 weeks back , still happy with this fellow and damn thomad's keyboard type like shit la no 手感at all ... the old skool 2.1 altec lansing speaker can be describe with the word suck . but never mind as long as the bass come out kaw , what to do with my economy situation now.

  the pagoda ground nuts and tiger beer , brought them up to genting and don have the chance to finish them ... this 1 private property have to lock them up else ah look sure come makan ... cb look

 finally , my short hair ...i hate this hairstyle ... when i become my own tauke later i wanna get lots of tattoo and grow my hair emo style . emo ftw ( first time use ftw , actually don know what it really means and search online , ftw stand for " for the wins , fuck the world , for the woman , fuck the watermelon "or whatever... am i just too free ? wish me luck for my interview tomorrow , i might fuck up again ) thanks for reading

everyone got a 2011 post

here is mine , 2011 big choice is done ... the drop out sound sound fuck but i think its really right way to choose other than just fucked up another year , i cant compromise to go college . yeah by no reason at all . so have to join the rat race soon , work like hell , just to get that little salary . target isn't change ( one thing , i don know when to use isn't and some grammar , anyone can teach me ? willing to learn ) nobody know if this is a shorter or longer path . for me its like 2 roads , and i use the one that is not stuck by shits and whatever , maybe spikes or anything that could slow me down ... after 12 months will post a 2012 post , i really wanna see where am i that time . chiao ~

洗澡

  i only wash car once a year , washing car will cost rm8 , which is expensive for me , i found thomad's house is a good place for washing car DIY project , this is it , happen like 3 weeks back

 this break dust cannot be wash off with my shokubutsu shampoo , shit ...

赖床

今天克服了我的赖床习惯，alarm一响就跳起来了。今天的第一关过了，再接再厉。希望等下不会被导师们干得太惨，我并不是特第违抗时间表，只是想自己安排自己的时间。时间是生命，我的生命是我的，我想怎么活，就怎么活。人类始终还是被控制着，只不过我选择了多一点自由。相信这样才是真正的我。

稳仔
22-12-2010
7.30am

铁

went and came back from alor star in 1 day , i spent 7 hours in alor star , 4 hours talking to my mum and 1.5 hours playing snooker with ah pang and another 1.5 hour eat laksa with edwin dude and chia wei , what a day . i haven sleep on my bed in alor star yet but need to come back already , this is heavy metal .

感官

我发现，我是一个非常敏感的人。除了人体那几样感官 （vision, hearing, smell

, taste, and touch ）视觉，听觉，嗅觉，味觉和触觉 ， 似乎还有一些说不出的 ，为了简单人们发明了这个字 。。。“感觉” 。而我 ， 总有言语难于形容的感觉 。 不懂其他人会不会想这样多？我爱幻想，也爱思考 。过了许久 ， 我发现原来我种种的感觉，会是我的记忆。当那5个感官同时受了刺激，不管搭，不搭还是混搭。只要是密码频道对了，大脑就会把它保存起来。在对的地方和时间，再掏出来慢慢品尝。我能形容，你可以想象，却不可能和我有相同的。。。“感觉”。

huh !?

在电梯里
yeoh : 立凡，你要叫什么？
立凡 :maggi goreng melayu 很猛，可是贵 ， 5元
yeoh : 不是3元Meh？
立凡 : 上次跟啊yann一起吃，RM5
yeoh : hor .。。

在mamak , order 的时候

yeoh: bagi teh o ais , ais kosong
立凡: teh ais , ais kosong ..
mamak : makan ?
yeoh : telur bistik , nasi putih satu
立凡 : nasi putih dua
yeoh : huh !?

被逼跟立凡2人吃1道菜，害我现在肚子饿，丢（第2音）

进不？

是进步，标题我特地打错，觉得也是有其意思。前几个星期跟突然间被人提了一下，是时候改变了，如果你感觉，看或者摸到我的改变。请别惊讶，我想做的就是把人生的 graft 从每况愈下和直线一条改为渐上型。我想只要我做到，一切都不会太迟。

 目标要定，决定了就要走下去，呼吸才有意义，是吧？

最新目标,时间安排

1.一天睡7小时，感觉到心跳时就下床，不赖床。虽然我的床的确有300倍的地心引力和宇宙里最粘的浆糊 ， 过不了它的关就别想成功。

2.练功，包括重金属电吉他，喉咙开拓和英式桌球,一天4小时过不过分？这些都是我驯服内心兽性的方法，因为我懂自己很狼。我已经戒了全部的电脑游戏的看连戏剧的习惯,对，从我电脑坏掉那天开始。谢谢鸡巴陆和小谦借我电脑解瘾。功课和lepak等预算不到的时间花费将从这里扣除。

3. 上课 ，还有1年多，对自己说可以。

4. 想，怎样做钱（个人觉得这最重要），别泼我冷水了 ，我很怕冷，那真的帮不到我， 我读到一团糟，对不起。放心的给我2年时间 ， 我会给你们一个交代，我是爱家的男人如果得不到家庭的温暖我很难发挥潜能。

不能借人

我很小气，不过只要你不跟我借我的4大私人财产，我还是会点头的

1.车 ， 根本不用理由 ，经过统计67%我的车不坏在我自己手上,啊岩最清楚

2.吉他 ，我精神上的寄托，拿走了我会精神分裂（好像已经裂了）

3. 球杆 ，够力私人用品，弄坏了怎么办?

4. 老婆

新的开始

几个月没写部落格了，这将是一个美好的开始，我相信。听说有个不懂哪一个学家把人生分成七个阶段，而我并不清楚自己在那个，不过可以感觉得到我正在踏入另一个。对，要活在未来，过去的，想也没用。现在5.14am，我在干嘛？（还讲是美好开始，这样的颠倒生活让我想活多几年都难）如果你看到这篇文章，请留个言灌灌水也好。谢谢