SEEK

I believe in balance , for this while i have been keeping my anger , stress and emo feeling . I try not to trust myself anymore but i just cant , i sit in air cond everyday . i wanna sweat , i wanna roll i need that fucking destructive skateboarding lifestyle back , i need to gain back the black blue on my knee and fall down doing tricks over the 8 stairs , i wanna have my car back , fully step on the gas throttle and listen to the crying of an unbalanced engine with the sound of air passing the carb . i need to scream MAC*BAI fucking loud , i wanna sing with my broken lung until i hurt my vocal box and also , i need to have my twin 30 watts laney amp crank up and hit palm mute hard on my guitar . i need to do them seriously , i had enuf of so called " normal " lifestyle . i need to do them all at once , to balance back everything , and then . continue my breathing and enjoy the pulse on my vein . fuck , i seriously have to destroy something .